Trust Your Gut…

What a simple statement. A statement that has been said by many. A statement that I have said multiple times to many people… A statement that I know is true… A statement that I know is applicable in all facets of life- mom life, nurse life, regular life.. all the situations… trust your gut…

It sounds simple. It seems simple. It IS just that simple…

Sometimes we can gas light ourselves into believing that our gut was wrong. That we are overreacting or overthinking something.. even though… we know if our friend came to us with the same concerns we would be up in arms and ready to fight for them and tell them over and over to, “trust your gut!” That we would point out all of the obvious wrongs to support their anxiety/fears/stress/worries…

… but when it comes to ourselves… we might just keep saying, “it’s fine. Nothing is wrong. They did nothing ‘wrong.’ It is fine.” ….. but it’s not…

Through a deep dive and self reflection.. sometimes you realize that in the denial of a genuine concern would mean that you have to acknowledge that there is an actual problem. That you are in the predicament. That it is real.

… To allow your stain glass masquarade to break further… There have been moments that people who truly know you could see you breaking… they could see the cracks in your wall… the hurt/fear in your eyes… you thought you were quick to cover it up. To say it was all okay… Then there were the people whom you thought were friends that you briefly bared your heart to that made comments like, “yea, that wouldn’t have happened to me because blah blah blah.” … reinforcing your doubt and refusal to acknowledge because… because you should be stronger… it shouldn’t impact you so much…. you’re the “water off the duck’s back girl”. …

… It’s fine…

… But it’s not…

One day maybe that will be fully acknowledged… probably not… It’ll be fine… Trust your gut… trust your gut… but don’t allow yourself to feel… make it make sense… I got Issues…you got ’em too.